How do we stop people helping us? When we justify our insanity. I’ve done it and I’ve watched others doing it. An example could be.
“I know that I’m going to work too hard for the next few weeks, but I have to do it. This is my job.”
With the economic slump I justified running myself into the ground when work finally came along. I lasted a few weeks and then crashed. Nobody challenged me. They assumed that I knew what I was doing. I did.
Recently, I watched somebody do the same and I said nothing. When somebody with a good length of sobriety says that are going to skate on thin ice and justifies it. Should we intervene?
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Monkey on my shoulder - A book to help people to recover from alcoholism by allowing them understand the 12 step program of AA
Tough choice, speak out too soon and risk loosing the chance to help later, watch and wait for the right time and you might miss it or decide 'they know what they're doing and they know where I am when they need me'.
ReplyDeleteConsidering the possible consequences I'd rather risk loosing a friend by speaking out of turn but it isn't that easy I can be as fooled by someones justification as they are themselves.
We all have psychological defences, well documented by Mr Freud, are rationalisations and justifications are difficult to penetrate - heavy challenges mostly push people away and do we have the right to give unsolicited advice? Gentle challenge and support is probably the best and when the person is ready to hear it can be very effective in helping them to change. If people don't want to hear it, self-will run riot, you can try and intervene as much as you like and you'll mainly be wasting your time. Unfortunately, we mainly tend to learn by our own mistakes, or is that just me?
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