Every day

How often do I use being busy to stop me focusing on what “needs” to be done? I “should” get my car changed, I “should” pay more attention to my pension, but I know these will expose what I don’t want to look at. My increasing age and fragile finances.

When I drank, paraphrasing the words of the song, “I planned to die before I got old,” and so why worry.

This is surely part of the double edged sword we trick ourselves with. Gratitude for being sober? Look at the worries I carry. There is a really old joke. A man threw himself out of a skyscraper and each window he passed they heard him say. “So far so good.”

Staying alive and re-joining the human race has been a wonderful journey and the longer that it goes on, the more I need faith to lean upon. I also need people who will challenge me and push when I’d rather bury my head and need to let these people know my worries and fears otherwise they assume I’m OK.

Every day, I re-invent the reason I need AA and the meetings.

Thin Ice

How do we stop people helping us? When we justify our insanity. I’ve done it and I’ve watched others doing it. An example could be.

“I know that I’m going to work too hard for the next few weeks, but I have to do it. This is my job.”

With the economic slump I justified running myself into the ground when work finally came along. I lasted a few weeks and then crashed. Nobody challenged me. They assumed that I knew what I was doing. I did.

Recently, I watched somebody do the same and I said nothing. When somebody with a good length of sobriety says that are going to skate on thin ice and justifies it. Should we intervene?