How often do we tell a newcomer they need to do step one 100% and then “enable” them in a headlong rush to step five?
Surely doing the step is much more than a head nod that they are powerless over alcohol? Don’t they need to fully acknowledge all of the ways they are powerless?
For me I had to accept that I didn’t have the choice to “flirt” with the idea of drinking. Statements like “If this doesn’t stop I might drink again.” Had to be beaten out of me. The idea that I could use booze as the giant switch to stop reality for a short time and then come back and start again also had to go. I also had to recognise what happened when booze was near me. A glass on a table niggling at me to pick it up. A drunk getting out of line and winding me up. The sound of a happy revellers out in the street at night. All of these can throw me.
And this is just the first part of step one! What about life had become unmanageable? What was I trying to manage and what was the effect? Who wouldn’t get into line and conform? What inanimate object was winding me up?
Accepting my part and learning to accept all of this is, in my opinion, vital before trying to move on to step two.
Tuesday, 20 September 2011
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